better

pressure kills…
so let’s remove the pressure…
and let love reign.

hahaha… sounds like a line from a romantic comedy film but its true.
i’m just glad that we have decided with that idea.
love you my love…
now i can breathe better and face the world with a smile and let the warmth i feel from our love radiate so that others would also feel how beautiful life is.

let our love reign… without any pressure at all…
love you.

HOLDING ON

--------HOLD ON.
HOLD ON.

LOG ON: PARTING WAYS

i logged in coz starting this day my lover and i are giving our relationship a breathing period. We had an argument which was about the same old shit. And he told me that he's tired from our situation and that he surrenders. I don't know if he meant it. I hope he doesn't mean it at all. So, what could I do but to disagree so weakly. In the end, I had to accept his decision that we'd take space away from each other. He wants us to detach from each other and think over whatever we need to think over. However, as we continued on with our negotiations, we both ended up discussing the cause of our difference. It narrowed down some items. However, the conflicts were not solved. Now, as of 12:50 a.m. I think I am back to being single. I don't know if it was a "cool off" period he wanted or a total break up. I think it was the first. Nonetheless, I am considerable single coz of the absence of an emotional connection with my beloved. Although my situation is quite worth the drama, I would like to apologize ahead. In my chronicles, I am not going to share sensitive details about our conflict. I would only be projecting my emotional struggles and experiences during that specific day.
Now, I begin.

DAY 1

Opening up to my co-worker/friend-of-my-beloved was a good decision that I made. She was the one who comforted me when I was all down and gloomy. The new place was a good place coz it provided me with the right venue to release my misery. It was raining so hard and my heart was drowning so fast. I cried.
I just want to pose my predictions on what would happen during this silent mode between us. We would end up broken apart... He would find his solace and I would probably become miserable. I could also see that during the silent mode, he would realize that he doesn't really love me at all... that he regrets why he entered into such an affair, and now he has to face this problem on how to let go of me without hurting my feelings. He would realize that he is now open to everyone and could entertain anyone and would end up finding the person he thinks would be right for him. And I would end up alone and confused.
My friend warned me before to take care of our relationship...coz it would hurt when the time would come that we'd separate.
Now, we are on our way towards a break up. I know for sure. I could no longer be positive about its outcome coz I know for a fact that there would be an opportunity that would knock our guards down and would intrude our thoughts which would lead us farther away from each other.
I am so frightened. I do not want to lose him... I love him.
DAMN. I LOVE HIM.

first entry into the house of blog

its 1:57 on my nokia but it is still 12:49 on my malfunctioning wallclock. The second time checked the time on my wallclock, which was an hour ago, I thought time wasn't in a hurry tonight. Third time I checked, still on the same position...I said, I can't be in twilight zone coz that would be freaky! Good thing, I'm still here in the real world, communing with the real virtual world of internet and electronic mails and networking and blah!
Now, I am here in blogspot.com.
And this is my first entry.
I am not really new with blogging. I have a blog in my friendster and multiply account. I also even use the notepad function of my facebook account as my blogspace...coz I think that one of its purpose is to post your thoughts, opinions, reactions, memos, reminders, and everything else which would entirely be simplified into the word blog.
Okay, so let me then partly introduce myself.
Based on my blog title, I am "movingthruheartstrings".
The "forever" question..."Why (title of blog)?"
"WHY MOVINGTHRUHEARTSTRINGS?"
It's corny. That's me.
It's O.A. That's me. (Well, I wanted O.A.K.O. for my url but it wouldn't give.)
It's too mushy. That's me.
It sounds like a title of a dance repertoire or dance concert. Well, my life is indeed like a dance... coz for one, I am a dancer. And two, I could say that I have flexed and stretched my personality as I grew up.
It sounds hopeful. Well, I am hopeful...most of the time.
It sounds...after hopeful the next adjective that would come to your mind would be optimistic...well yes, I am...most of the time too.
It also sounds dreamy. Well, I would say that I have a fair share of dreams and aspirations in life.
It sounds...feels...like...inspired by....love. Well, eversince then the BIG FOUR LETTER WORD has been the inspiration, motivation, drive, force or music of my life. My love for my dog when I was still a kid. My love for my nanay and tatay. My love for my friends. My love for my younger brother. My love for my relatives. My love for my past love interests. My love for our special baby brother. My love for my love. My love for my work...ithink.hehe.
You can laugh at me if you think that I am being "ridiculous" and "pathetic"... for all I care!
I am just glad that finally I am here in blogspot which means I am now closer to my friends: esp. BRILLIANTBUMS...
I still have work later.
Blognexttime.
Goodnight.
Hugs.
xoxo
it's now...2:22. God! I write so slow! urgh. nyt.