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a man who knows he has a lot to offer yet holds back

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


i haven't blogged for a long time (for reference, pls. check the date of the post below this one). anyway, i just thought of blogging tonight coz i just had a crazy, weird, hilariously complicated, extremely funny, and ab-working, throat scratching experience watching an unknown film entitled "OUT AT THE WEDDING". It's a complicated comic gay story (let's just leave it like that, complicated). Anyway, during the confrontation scene where the lead actress tries to explain herself to her fiance she gives out this interesting line: "I spin my own stories, I create my own fairytales....I am an animated girl who lost her mother and now found her prince charming... and I am just afraid of my story ending." it was just beautiful. it doesn't completely relate to me coz first of all my mom is still very much alive and beautiful, plus i have just lost my prince charming....but what fits to most of us, especially to my friends, is the part that we spin our own stories, and we try to create our own fairytales... and as our story follows through, we try to hold back or give it too much of ourselves, because of anxiety that someday this beautiful love story would end...thus the questions: i do not know if it would end up happy or sad or traumatic or tragic? would it be me who would end it or my partner?

now, i'm still slightly deranged that my story has a part two. my sad ending of the prince turning back to a frog after his "love" got confused and lost in the woods would somehow develop into a story wherein "love" would reach a signage that would lead him back to the frog and they'd kiss again. aawww.. so cheesy, mushy, corny and o.a.... i know. however, right now i have slightly recovered from my long time of sorrow. i am still in pain, i must admit but i have learned how to walk again with a smile and even dance to the beat of my music. i love my love... i still do. and as i continue on loving, i now go back swimming to the pond where life goes on for everyone else.

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